From the STUPID files

Hi, I live in a major metropolitan area and I do ridiculous things.  The following is courtesy of the Miami Herald.

1. A thief stole a man’s wallet while he was at a club at 3875 Shipping Ave. on June 27. The man said a dancer asked him to remove his wallet from his front pocket because it was bothering her. He placed it on a chair and when he returned for it, found the wallet missing.  FAIL.  Your wallet wasn’t stolen, you gave it away.  PS, it’s a strip club.
2. A thief made off with a city of Miami garbage can outside a house in the 1700 block of Southwest 18th Street on July 1.  FAIL.  Who steals garbage cans?!?!
3. A thief stole a man’s wallet from his shoes while he was playing football at Shenandoah Park, 1800 SW 21st Ave. on June 23.  FAIL.  It’s the 305, MI-YAYO.  You do NOT leave your wallet anywhere not in your pocket and expect it to be there when you get back.
4. Someone stole a city of Miami garbage can from a house in the 1900 block of Southwest 16th Street on June 30.  FAIL.  See #2.
5. Somebody stole a purse from an unlocked car in the 900 block of Genoa Street between 3:30 and 3:45 p.m. July 18. Purse left in car. FAIL.  Purse left in unlocked car.  Bigger FAIL. 
6. A burglar stole a television, a DVD player, clothes, shoes, frozen meat, two purses and DVDs after breaking a bedroom window at a house in the 17300 block of Southwest 99th Court between 9 p.m. July 23 and 2 p.m. July 24. The items were valued at $4,125. Damage was estimated at $100.  Damn, times are rough.  A burglar stole frozen meat.  If it thawed before he got home, then FAIL.

Really, it just keeps going…

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